NC (vo): Brute force doesn't do much compared to common sense.
NC: You know, was there really no other way to get these things into their cages? Robert Muldoon (Bob Peck): (close-up on his lips) Shoot her! SHOOT HER! (The Velociraptor charges into the cage, knocking one of the workers off the top, then being dragged in while he's clinging on for dear life) (The cage is carried in by a forklift) They try to transport one of the highly intelligent raptors via Portal Cube, (A picture of the Companion Cube is shown) when, of course, something goes wrong. Every frame feels like a whimsical police interrogation. Yeah, I don't know if you noticed, but this guy is obsessed with shining spotlights in your face as much as humanly possible. NC (vo): So we start out in Spielberg's favorite place to go in all of his movies: Spotlight Fetish Land. (The movie opens on the island of Isla Nublar, where a large group of workers are attempting to bring in a large cage containing something highly dangerous) NC: So, let's take a look at an adventure 65 million years in the making, or.
But it's still an interesting journey looking back at something that was so groundbreaking and popular without the nostalgia goggles. I know something like Jurassic Park 3 is worse, and trust me, we'll get to that trainwreck another time. NC (vo): I'm just saying that while we were so blown away by how huge it was, we might have overlooked some problems that we either didn't see or chose to ignore. In fact, it's held up extraordinarily well. NC: And how did it hold up? It was awesome! (After a beat.) But maybe not as awesome as I remem- (Suddenly, Malcolm Ray, Rachel Tietz and most likely Rob Walker come in and pummel him in his chair) Stop it! Look, I'm not saying it's a bad movie, far from it. So when it was re-released in 3D recently, you bet your ass I got over to the theater to relive all those awesome memories. Not only did it have groundbreaking CGI effects, but it had action-packed suspense, a sense of awe and wonder, and just seemed gigantic.
NC (vo): When this film came out, people went nuts. Nostalgia Critic: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. (One of those booms is played) Don't forget "wooo-wooooooo, woo-wooo." (The whistling sound is heard) Nice. There's no reason for this text, it's just to hear that awesome "boom" sound again. Millions flooded to relive the groundbreaking film, including the Nostalgia Critic. Messages: After 20 years, Jurassic Park was re-released on the big screen in 3D. (Before we start, we're greeted to some messages about the movie)
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